I want to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this opportunity to see shining samples of the teachings of A Course in Miracles, and for the first time in an extended while, I do not feel alone.
Section of me wanted to remain longer, but beneath that desire was thinking that I would be this for the wrong reason; as a way to avoid my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I’d had any insights. What I’m about to share wasn’t yet clear in those days; only on the drive away did it coalesce.
That morning, several lines from a Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never must have told you, never must have allow you to see inside. acim teacher Don’t are interested troubling your brain, won’t you let it be?” This confused me as I could not consider anything that I’d said that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don’t are interested troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that probably the most prominent fear I’d in arriving at the Monastery was that I’d somehow interfere with its residents’peace of mind, simply by my presence alone. This belief that I could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for several years, and has colored a lot of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness immediately after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of his true videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel as if the belief has been (has been?) released.
There are other issues that happened that felt important, but I can’t consider them right now.